PANIC At The Disco
by Divide19
Summary: Panic At The Disco songfics starring Perry, Aussie, Nyx, Isabella, and Candace. It is highly recommended that you readers listen to the songs while reading the fanfic. For best effects, please loop the song until you finish the chapter.
1. Dancing's Not A Crime

Perry entered the room and was trapped in a force field instantly. He glared at Dr.Doofenshmirtz as he struggled, while the evil scientist babbled about his "Dance-inator" and his scheme.

Perry turned his translator on and said, "Doofenshmirtz, dancing is not evil."

"What? But it can't be! Dancing has to be evil!"

Perry threw his fedora forward. Once it reached the verge of the field, the hat started to orbit in a circle until eventually cutting through the force field and deactivating the trap.

Perry sprung into action once he was free. He and Dr.Doofenshmirtz exchanged blows. "Dancing is not evil. C'mon, you know what they say, dancing's not a crime!" Perry practically yelled the last sentence as he gave his nemesis a kick in the chest followed by a strong push, sending him into a chair.

Perry smirked as the music to Panic At The Disco's "Dancing's Not A Crime" plays. He pulled out a microphone from his hat, then tossed it to the other hand and flipped it twice. Perry ran away from Doofenshmirtz, which confused the evil scientist quite a lot.

The platypus moonwalked while singing the song. "Wait, Perry the platypus, why are you dancing?" Doofenshmirtz asked, surprised.

Perry crossed both arms and nodded to the beat. The inator was properly warmed up, so Doofenshmirtz walked upon the contraption, but Perry rushed at him and jumped into his body. Taken by great surprise, the evil scientist fell onto his own invention.

Perry stepped on his nemesis, who was lying on the floor. He righted his hat and looked at Doofenshmirtz before grabbing his wrists and pulling his upper body up.

Face to face with the platypus, the doctor was shocked out of words. This is a side of his nemesis he had never seen. Before he knew what was going on, Perry let him go, put the mike into his hat, and backflipped away, furthermore doing a backward cartwheel mid-air.

Perry skipped backwards, shaking a finger at Doofenshmirtz. Then, he turned back and slid to the right. Perry walked dramatically to the middle, where a microphone was magically standing, bending his knees with each step. The platypus fell to his knees in front of the mike.

Perry jumped up and sang the chorus into the microphone while holding both arms up. He spun and made a few sophisticated moves, then pointed at his nemesis.

"Me?" asked Doofenshmirtz, not believing what he had heard. Perry dropped a grappling hook on Doofenshmirtz's inator, but when he pulled himself toward the contraption, it moved a little bit sideways. Perry was satisfied with this; it's what he wanted. Letting go at the right time, the platypus jumped onto Doofenshmirtz's left shoulder.

He landed on the floor and gesticulated, inviting Doofenshmirtz to the dance. "Perry the platypus, I have a dance-inator scheme today, and you come and invite me to dance with you? What's that all about? Well, all right then," he took Perry's hand and started to move.

"Weird. He's supposed to come here to foil my scheme, but then he turns it into a duet," Doofenshmirtz mumbled to himself.

They went through a variety of styles, including foxtrot, mambo, and cha-cha. Perry danced hip-hop while singing high notes, not looking out of breath even though the moves were highly demanding.

The platypus hung upside down from the inator and tossed a picture at Doofenshmirtz. The evil scientist looked at it; it was a photo of himself and his temporary new nemesis, Peter the Panda. Perry backflipped off and shook a finger at his nemesis.

"Perry the platypus, why are you bringing this up again? I thought we were already over that! And I had promised you not to betray our animosity again back then." The platypus charged at Doofenshmirtz and pushed him to the floor, pinning him down.

Perry walked to a table on which a glass of mint tea was placed. He drank it up in seconds, while Doofenshmirtz found it strange, for the scientist doesn't drink that kind of stuff himself. "Where's that from?"

Upon finishing the drink, the secret agent began to scamper in DEI without following a straight path. He pulled the microphone along with its stand off the ground, and he held it sideways. Perry jumped up and down and slapped his tail on the floor.

When the chorus was playing again, both the platypus and the evil scientist were dancing like crazy. The mission was turned into something similar to a party.

Doofenshmirtz froze when he heard Perry singing the line. "P-Perry the pl-platypus, y-you want to b-be my b-boyfriend?" _He must be out of his mind,_ a thought came over Doofenshmirtz, _we_ _'re supposed to be enemies and hate each other!_

After shaking himself out of it, Doofenshmirtz started to dance again. He even tried to sing along a little, but he gave up as he couldn't hit the notes, each of which was too high for him.

Doofenshmirtz saw Perry about to press the self-destruct button. "Nooooooo!" But it was too late to stop him. "Dancing's not a crime, so this is not an evil scheme. Get a better one tomorrow," said Perry.

"Curse you, Perry the platypus!"


	2. Death Of A Bachelor

It was close to midnight. The sign of the O.W.C.A. headquarters could hardly be seen under the dim starlight. In the serenity, a shooting star flew across the sky and fell below the horizon.

The tranquillity was broken when the intro, which was played with saxophones, began. Just before the singing started, a spiky shadow figure was shown sitting in front of a drum kit in a darkened room, tossing one of the drumsticks into the air with the left hand while keeping the other one laid flat on the snare drum with the right hand.

Some lights went on and showed the stage in the centre. There was a microphone on the stage. A teal figure with webbed feet and a tangerine beavertail stood at the mic and started to sing into it.

The singer was revealed to be Aussie the Platypus right after he had started. For the song, he adopted a smooth, intimate tone, and he used rubato to make it sound more loungy, too. Snapping his fingers to the tempo, his face was filled with melancholy, but there was also a flicker of contentment gleaming through his red eyes.

Aussie and a couple of his fellow agents were seated at a table in the cafeteria. While the friends were chatting, some other animals walked by and glanced at Aussie curiously. "I think he has changed," came a voice.

The red-eyed platypus wiped his face and stared at his own reflection in the mirror. He put both palms on the restroom sink and carefully examined his every physical feature as he talked to himself. When he stepped out of the restroom, his taper beeped; however, instead of answering the call, he simply muted the device, barely giving it any chance to make a sound.

Aussie took off his fedora and jumped into the lake for a leisure swim. Once he hit the water, Aussie dove underwater and disappeared in sight. Briefly after, he was lying in a completely white space, his arms folded and his eyes wide open. His chest moved up and down with the beat of his heart and his breaths.

Aussie walked down a pavement at dusk. He looked at the sky and emitted a sigh.

Aussie and Nyx kissed under the mistletoe on Christmas. They lay under a shade tree on a hot summer day.

Aussie was in a bedroom. There was a white dress on the bed. He took out a pair of scissors from his fedora and cut off the lace. He swung the lace around himself, circumferencing the neck several times.

He grabbed onto the microphone stand with both hands and then held it sideways as he jumped off the stage.

The lake which Aussie was seen swimming in before had turned into the colour of blood.

Aussie fell off a tall waterfall and went out of sight. The parachute was never opened. He fell onto an extremely sharp rock, and the rock cut through his body and stabbed him in the lungs. Blood went gushing out, leaving a stain on the rock as the platypus lay there motionless. The water was painted red for a moment, but it soon turned back to its normal colour.

In front of the mic, Aussie raised his arms straight into the air and made a "V" while he closed his eyes and smiled.

Under the waterfall, Aussie swam out of the water, carrying a full ripped-off skin which resembled himself a lot, except it was all crumbled together.

Aussie was in a forest. He was facing a tall tree, and he had an axe in his hands. He swung the axe forcefully at the tree. However, just as it was about to hit the tree, the platypus redirected it to smack himself in the head rather than the tree.

Blood and body liquid fountained from the wounded head as soon as the sharp metal cut through his skin, tear his flesh open, and made a big crack in his skull. Aussie saluted as he fell back and sank into a pool of blood, closing his eyes and smiling. Under the surface, he clenched his fist near his chest.

Aussie was sitting alone at a table for two in a restaurant, his right hand hanging over the chair. The candle was lit for so long that the plate was flooded with wax, but there's no one else there. The other seat is still vacant. He turned his head to the right in an attempt to beckon a waiter.

Aussie was playing a piano and singing in the middle of a plain. Shortly after, he stood up, swinging his arms.

He was sitting in a bar. There was a glass of gin on the counter. The seat next to him was occupied by a spiky animal facing away from Aussie so that the face couldn't be seen. The platypus looked at her as he sipped from the container. He took out a mirror from his agent hat and manipulated his bill to turn his frown into a smile.

The platypus flipped the microphone and continued to sing. He slid rightward and leftward, holding an end of the wire with his free hand. Then, he did a spin, holding the wire higher and the mic lower. By the time he finished the spin, the position of those two parts had been swapped.

Aussie danced in the mist. The mist got heavier and heavier, blurring his silhouette until finally, the platypus disappeared into the mist. He was then seen lying in the bed in his room in the agency. All of a sudden, a trillion spurs came out from underneath the bed, penetrating into his skin and piercing through every inch of his body. The forked platypus cringed in agonizing pain. However, Aussie was closing the door outside shortly after.

Aussie opened and closed his eyes a couple times. He raised his right arm and snapped his fingers before he lifted a leg onto a black box, slapping his tail against the ground. Four musicians were playing the saxophones in Danville Park at dusk. Cars passed by on the road behind. Aussie put his hands on a wooden coffin with sentimentality.

Aussie opened his eyes, which were previously shut. He looked rather frightened and panicked, and he was hanged from the ceiling with the white chiffon lace. There was a long, deep scar across his back still bleeding.

Aussie was in the mountains. Flames burst out from nowhere and swallowed him for the entirety. He turned into ashes in an instant.

Aussie fell into a river. However, he wasn't able to move his limbs. Therefore, he sank deeper and deeper into the seemingly infinite deep water. Knowing there was absolutely no use to strive, he opened his mouth and allowed the water to rush in.

He was seen lying in a coffin. His eyes were closed, but he was uttering some words. The coffin was soon closed, blocking the light and thus darkening the inside of the box.

At midnight, there was a long, white trace on the street, its colour identical to that of the lace.


	3. High Hopes

**A/N: Please note that this chapter is set in seven years after the ATSD movie. The gang was assumed to have gotten permission to remember their adventure with secret agent Perry the platypus, while Phineas and Ferb were still able to keep Perry as their pet.**

Phineas, Ferb, and their friends were on a stage. Phineas was standing in front of a microphone, Ferb had a saxophone strapped to his neck, Isabella and Gretchen both had a guitar, Ginger was playing the bass, Baljeet was playing the trumpet beside Ferb, and Buford was at the back and on the drums. Those on the guitar and the bass had a microphone standing in front of them.

On Buford's left were Adyson and Holly, who were playing the saxophones, while on his right, there were Milly and Katie on the trumpets.

On the other stage, Perry was playing the bass, while Aussie was sitting at another drum set, equipped with a microphone. Dr.Doofenshmirtz and Major Monogram had a saxophone and a trombone, respectively. Carl was playing the trombone as well.

Aussie and Buford looked at each other. They both banged their sticks together at exactly the same time, counting out the beats for an entire bar before everyone started to play the song, _High Hopes._

Phineas started to sing with Aussie doubling, while Isabella and Gretchen sang the backing vocals. Phineas put his hands on the microphone and started forward, and he twitched his eyes at the word "stars", where he belted out a powerful high note and threw his right arm up, while he tilted his body in Perry's direction very briefly.

The redhead closed his eyes at the next two lines and then opened them. Then he began to jump up and down. He held a finger out when singing "one" and took the mike off the stand.

Phineas walked around and stopped in front of Baljeet in a while. Baljeet lifted his trumpet, and Phineas pulled his elbow down twice before walking away.

Phineas danced across the stage as he sang. He crossed his arms, raised his head, and stepped in front of Buford's drums. Phineas hopped away with a big smile and placed the microphone back right after he had flipped it.

Aussie sang into his mike while still playing the drums, using a translator to translate his singing. Phineas backflipped and grabbed the mike stand, fixing it in place when Perry threw a grappling hook at it. Perry pulled himself along with the bass guitar toward Phineas.

Phineas sang along with Aussie sometime later, kneeling on his left knee and rubbing Perry's hat with his free hand. He stood up with his eyes closed, and he pointed forward. Ferb took a couple steps forth when the redhead turned at him, spreading his arm out.

Phineas swung his arm while singing the chorus and walked backwards occasionally. He faced Perry and banged the waist lightly to the rhythm. The platypus tapped his right foot.

Phineas walked up to Isabella, making her heart skip a beat; nevertheless, she managed to keep singing and playing her parts. Phineas leaned back a little, and then he slipped backwards. The boy pushed the microphone in Perry's direction, and the platypus looked up at him smiling.

Phineas sang the following verse facing Baljeet and jumped off the stage with Perry. They ran up the other stage, and Perry approached Doofenshmirtz, who was playing the sax. On the other hand, the redhead waved his arm, swung his body side to side, and went over to Aussie. The two sang face to face, their eyes gleaming with joy.

Phineas backflipped again and went back to the front, letting Aussie the platypus sing the pre-chorus. Then, he joined the platypus, jumping on the stage and flipping the mike.

He ended up in front of Doofenshmirtz and handed Doofenshmirtz his mike. Looking at the man, he clapped his hand to the beat and danced excitedly, while Doofenshmirtz sang along with everyone. Even those who didn't have a microphone were singing.

Phineas took the mike back and ran down and up the stage while singing the final chorus. Doofenshmirtz went back to playing the saxophone, turning to face Major Monogram. Phineas stood in front of the Brit, who winked at him, and then he turned to Gretchen and Isabella. Aussie and Buford exchanged glances in the meantime.

Phineas stepped to the front, raised the mike into the air, and put the mike back. He stood straight while he sang the last few lines with Isabella, Gretchen, Aussie, and Ginger. The redhead glimpsed at Aussie as he put his right hand on the microphone and his left hand on the stand. Aussie smiled back at him, hitting the drums.

Phineas danced a little more and jumped one last time when the song came to an end.


	4. Nicotine

"Perry the platypus, how unexpected- I've used that pun countless times, didn't I?" Perry chattered in agreement, while Doofenshmirtz let out a long sigh.

"You know what, Perry the platypus? I actually don't have a scheme today." Perry looked surprised, _so what should I foil today if you have got nothing? Besides, what's with that inator right there?_

"Oh, that's only a decoy of my Evil-inator, which is a draft plan. I came up with that plan because I felt like something's different between us. I mean, we're supposed to hate each other, but now I'm kind of happy getting thwarted with those evil schemes. But that shouldn't be; I can't be enjoying being thwarted. The animosity has changed.

Trust me, these words come from the core of my heart. I sometimes woke up in the morning thinking, 'Curse you Dr Heinz Doofenshmirtz!' and it ironically reminds me of you. And I couldn't stop it or control it; in the back of my mind, I sort of think it's okay. It's like I've been trapped, as I'm starting to feel good this way."

Perry stared at him. _This could be the deepest monologue ever from you, sir. Definitely so not rambling._ The platypus picked on the lock with his gadgets and freed himself when his nemesis wasn't looking.

Perry chattered to get Doofenshmirtz's attention. The man looked at him, "Perry the platypus, you have escaped already? Oh well, it's not that much of a deal; you can escape every trap of mine, plus I didn't actually give my best on this one.

What's the point of being nemeses if we don't hate each other anymore? I don't hate you enough, and Perry the platypus, you don't seem to hate me too much, so we're simply wasting each other's time holding on to this broken animosity. But something's there making me do so, and I have no idea what it is."

Doofenshmirtz paced the place, saying, "but I guess holding on, as it's not completely torn up, is better than getting replacedwith another nemesis, both for you and for me. You know, the funny thing is, every time you come here, I know instantly I'm gonna lose; I'm no match to you. But I still tried so hard to win; I don't get myself sometimes.

My life is filled with disasters, but you're the worst of them all, Perry the platypus, because I'm enjoying this disaster of you. I could tell Major Monogram that I don't want to do evil anymore and give up evil, and then we'll be through. But I don't want that, and I know you don't want that, either."

Perry walked up to Doofenshmirtz. "Perry the platypus, you can push the self-destruct button right there, if you don't mind the fact that the inator is just a decoy." Perry chattered and pushed the button before flying away in his jetpack.

"Curse you Perry the platypus!" Doofenshmirtz yelled in his usual angry voice, shaking his fist in the air, but Perry could tell with no problem that he was faking it. Doofenshmirtz wasn't really feeling it this time; he was only pretending.

Doofenshmirtz walked away after a while, thinking, _explosions are really bad, but Perry the platypus is more than a million times worse. He defeats me all the time, but I can't get enough of him._


	5. Don't Threaten Me With A Good Time

Perry woke up to a chatter. Not believing what he'd heard, he turned his head to his owner, Phineas, just to find a platypus, lying in his bed near the pillow. Perry chattered cautiously, with a sign of alertness, _who are you? How did you get into Phineas's bed?_

"Good morning, Perry! How'd you sleep?" Phineas said, oblivious to the fact that he was speaking fluent platypus. Perry instantly recognized the voice, and he was shocked. "Do you even realize what had happened to you?" he said.

Ferb had awoken and saw the two platypuses in Phineas's bed. Phineas's pyjamas are in the bed. _Where's Phineas?_ He wondered, looking around the room. "Good morning, Ferb!" Phineas chattered to Ferb, but of course, the Brit couldn't understand him. He blinked his eyes.

Phineas turned to his pet and replied, "Perry, since when can I understand you so well? I don't know a word you say before."

"Phineas, you're talking platypus," Perry said, and just at that moment, Phineas unintentionally swept his tail, which he didn't know he had. "Hey, Perry, look! I have a tail now, just like you!" Phineas was acting quite happy, but Perry had no idea what to do with his owner. He couldn't recall anything that can change him into a platypus; Doofenshmirtz's platypus-inator was too long ago.

The redhead looked down from his bed. "I don't remember the bed being this tall," he said and jumped off, landing on his paws and his feet, but he almost toppled over. Perry followed him, except in a more sophisticated way.

Ferb looked at Perry, then turned his eyes to the other platypus. He looked somehow familiar, although he couldn't tell who it was. Ferb put his inquiring eyes on his pet, but Perry just chattered mindlessly- actually, he was trying to say something, but Ferb couldn't understand him. As there was no use in asking the house pet, Ferb was left all alone to figure this out.

"I wonder why I'm like this, though," said the redhead, "I'm walking on all fours, I don't feel like wearing clothes, and I've got this tail that looks a lot like yours. And I can even converse with you easily! In platypus!"

 _Hold on, I was talking in platypus this whole time?_ Phineas looked at his hands and feet. Furry paws and webbed feet. _Perry?_ Phineas chattered curiously as Perry led him to the door.

Ferb looked at the two. Despite having similar colour, they're quite easily distinguishable; Perry's eyes were unfocused, while the other ones' were focused. It was sort of strange since normally, platypuses' eyes were unfocused.

He and Phineas had gathered every single platypus in Danville into their backyard when Perry didn't come home that day, and there wasn't a platypus whose eyes weren't unfocused. However, this one didn't look mindless at all; it acted as though it were a human.

Ferb opened the door and walked out with the two animals following. They headed toward the bathroom, though Phineas stopped a foot away.

Champagne. Gin. Bacardi. Wine. Beer. Martini. All kinds of alcoholic drink. People dancing to the music. _Eh, why do these memories of last night suddenly pop up?_

"Phineas, what are you doing?"

"Nothing, just thinking about the party." Phineas stepped into the bathroom.

Perry's oddly talkative this morning. And that other platypus is really talkative, too- it reminds me of Phineas. One less Phineas, one extra platypus. Could it be? No, no it can't.

Ferb dismissed the suspicion as ridiculous. When they went to bed last night, Phineas was heavily drunk, but human all the same. If anything had happened to him over the night, Ferb would have known right away. And to his awareness, nothing weird had occurred during the previous night.

This left two questions unanswered: where's Phineas, and how did this platypus got into the house and even their bedroom?

Ferb picked the newcomer up. Phineas's eyes widened when he saw himself in the mirror. He slipped out of Ferb's grip and landed on Perry, causing them both to fell over on the floor. Phineas giggled, though it sounded like a series of short chatters to Ferb.

"Isn't it awesome? I could finally get to know you better now that I'm also a platypus!" Hearing this, Perry groaned inside to Phineas's naivety, but he didn't show it to Phineas.

Ferb brought them downstairs. Phineas noticed the cane on the staircase and told Perry, "look, I had that at the party. I was wearing a cool party hat, too, although I can't seem to recall where I'd left it." The boy-turned platypus reminisced the previous night when they're dancing and drinking, and people crowned him, screaming "all hail King Helluva!"

 _Man, it was a wonderful and unbelievably insane night,_ Phineas said to himself, _I still remember there being like, five thousand people. That's approximately the population of the entire Tri-state area._

As he snatched the platypus food, just as usual, thoughts about the party, which he hadn't been too into, snuck into the Brit's mind. He only had a few drinks, chilling in the corner for the majority of the time- save for when Vanessa invited him to a dance, and when Phineas literally pulled him into the dancing crowd. A lot of them were banging their heads like- certainly not Ferb whatsoever.

"Hey, sweetie," their mother said, "you always come downstairs with Phineas. What's with today?"

"Yeah, where's Phineas?" asked Candace, sitting down at the table.

Ferb gave a blank look. _I have no idea. Haven't seen him since I woke up._

"You've got to be kidding me, Ferb. You were always together. Besides, I saw both of you going into your room," Candace said, sceptical of her brother's words.

 _That's the odd thing. I couldn't find him anywhere when I woke up_. Ferb blinked his eyes.

"Really?" Candace asked, still not believing the Brit.

Phineas, who was now a platypus, chattered at Perry. "I'm right here. Why can no one see me?"

His annoyed chatter was noticed by Candace. "Ew! Go away, you meat brick!"

Phineas was a bit confused. "Did Candace just call me 'meat brick'? That's what she calls you, isn't it?" Perry nodded his head. "She must have mistaken me for you." Perry chattered in agreement and told Phineas, "they can see you, they just don't know it's you."

"Because I'm a platypus now," said Phineas, feeling the thrill fading away a little, for nobody else than Perry would be able to recognize him anymore. Just Perry.

"What has gotten into you, Perry? You're being extra noisy this morning! Geez," Candace said.

Ferb stopped eating and refilled the feeding bowl. Since there were two platypuses to be fed, he gave them twice the amount of usual. Phineas and Perry ate from the same bowl. Ferb, Phineas, and Perry went out after finishing their breakfast. Ferb sat down by the tree with Phineas in his lap and Perry on his right.

"What a wonderful day, boy." Phineas chattered at Perry.

Perry answered, "ha, isn't it? Sunshine, blue sky, perfect temperature- we've got everything."

"Don't forget about the breeze; soothing and refreshing at the same time," added Phineas.

"How could I let them know it's me?" asked Phineas while Ferb stood up. The Brit headed for the garage, wondering the whereabouts of his stepbrother.

Isabella walked into the backyard, "hi Ferb." She looked around, "Um, where's Phineas?"

Ferb shrugged, _I don't know, have you seen him?_

"That's strange. I vaguely remember taking a swim with him and Buford in Buford's pool after dancing through the whole Danville. All of us had our clothes on when we were swimming, which was sort of weird. Wait, maybe it is actually the entire Tri-state? Honestly, I can't remember clearly."

"Phineas, how did you become a platypus overnight? Do you have any idea?" Perry asked.

"No, no I don't. I don't think I'll ever get it, though."

Isabella saw him and said, "Ferb, I didn't know you have gotten another platypus. What's his name?"

Picking up Phineas, Ferb spoke, for the very first time of the day, "actually, I found this little fella in Phineas's bed. I don't know why and how, though. I don't even know who he is." Phineas sighed when he heard the last sentence, but that went unnoticed.

"Oh, so he's not your new pet?" Ferb shook his head, thinking, _it was such an odd night. I saw Phineas getting really smashed and stumbling out of the terribly crowded place._ _And Isabella said she saw him back at the party half an hour or so later, having some more although he was still pretty drunk._

"Do you still remember how to act human-like?" Perry asked.

"Well... what do you mean exactly?"

"Those things you used to do when you were a boy."

"Yeah, I think I remember how to do those, but I'm a platypus now, so I'm physically limited, which means I may not be able to do some of the things I used to do. Particularly the complex ones, like building inventions."

"I suppose you could start with standing on your feet." Phineas turned around, facing the tree, and he laid his hands on the trunk. Holding against the tree, he pulled himself up. He stood up on his hind legs successfully with only one try.

Isabella happened to glance at Phineas when he walked a few steps away from the tree. "Hey, Perry's standing on his hind legs."

Ferb gave a negative response with his eyes.

"All right, so that's not him. I guess I should have known; Perry never could do that. It's intriguing how that other platypus managed to do that, though."

Buford and Baljeet walked into the backyard. Upon seeing the two, the Brit was immediately reminded of the incident at the party, and as a result, a smile crossed his mouth. Although he tried to hide it, it was too late.

"What's so funny? Oh, still thinking of our bet, huh? It's not that funny, plus it has already been over," said Buford, clearly not very happy with Ferb.

Isabella chuckled, "to think about it again now, it is hilarious. Buford in a chiffon skirt... ha..." She burst into a fit of giggles.

This triggered Buford more. "Buford!" Baljeet yelped when Buford snatched him by the sleeve, "we are not kids anymore, could you please stop doing that to me? Besides, it was you who started the bet, and I was just lucky enough to win it. You made up all the rules yourself and lost the bet, and now you are going to be mad at me?"

"Wait, you thought we were amused with that one? That was nothing compared with your bet to Phineas, Buford." Isabella told the boy, while the Brit held his thumb up. Phineas and Perry exchanged snickers underneath the tree shade.

"But I won that one! How come you're laughing about me winning a bet?"

Baljeet felt his mouth curve into a grin. "It was quite interesting how Phineas lost the bet and had to wear those high heels, but once he had them on, it looked great on him."

"Yeah, I didn't know he could make those high heels work like he was supposed to wear them," remarked Isabella.

"Speaking of which, where's Phineas? I haven't seen him since I came in." Buford asked. Ferb shrugged his shoulders.

"That is something new. Ferb does not know of Phineas's whereabouts," stated Baljeet, "hey, you have gotten Perry a friend." He petted the platypus, not knowing it was Phineas.

"Actually, we don't how he came in here," said Isabella.

"That's pretty odd, ya know," commented Buford, walking over to pick Perry up. However, he couldn't tell the two platypuses apart and ended up holding Phineas, who chattered out of slight pain. Phineas was relieved as he was put back on the grass; not only did Buford stroke him too hard it pained him, but he was uncomfortable with getting petted by the tough guy among them.

"Phineas, you may not remember, but you were drunk as hell as last night. I guess you were singing 'Gitchee Gitchee Goo', although I can't be sure as it sounded like shouting and screaming in reality; there were barely any notes in tune, and I couldn't make out what you were singing."

"I remember that, man. I wasn't as think as you drunk I am-" Phineas retorted, "I mean,-"

"Wow, I didn't know that you're still drunk," teased Perry, interrupting his owner.

"That was only a slip of the tongue! And I was about to correct myself. I am so not drunk right now!" Phineas was apparently irritated by the interruption. Perry blinked in amusement.

Phineas was talking so loudly that he caught Baljeet's attention. Baljeet looked at Perry and Phineas in confusion before moving his inquiring eyes to Ferb, opening his mouth to speak. As a man of few words, Ferb knew what Baljeet was going to say once he saw his face, and he nodded his head. _Yes, yes they are._

Ferb went away to get his toolbox. Just at that time, Perry's wristwatch beeped, informing the platypus it was time to go. He slipped down the hole in the corner, going unnoticed by the teens.

Phineas heard it, though. "Perry, did you hear- Perry?" Phineas didn't know what to do. He had become a platypus now, and only Perry understood him. Now that Perry had been gone, who would know what he's saying? Who could help him get back to who he was, a red-haired, traingle-headed teenager? They didn't even know who he is!

Perry slid down the tube. Hopefully, he could ask Major Monogram what may have caused his owner to turn into a platypus. If it's related to Doofenshmirtz, he'd make sure he get some... more. He deserved it in that case. Meanwhile, Ferb pulled a blueprint out of the box.


	6. Let's Kill Tonight

Aussie, Perry, Nyx, Peter, and Pinky were having a music session on the balcony of the O.W.C.A. headquarters. They played a bunch of songs of their selection and jammed on their instruments- Aussie and Pinky on the guitar, Perry on the bass, Peter on the piano, and Nyx on the drums.

Aussie walked up to the microphone in the front and said, "when I was still in Danville Zoo, there was one day when I heard a guitar solo coming from nowhere. It was exotic, and perhaps that's what made it so intriguing to me. It goes like this," Aussie began to play the Egyptian solo on his instrument.

Perry recognized the melody almost instantly. It was the exact melody with which Doofenshmirtz had attempted to summon an army of aliens- he failed, though, for a monster-sized orange chameleon pulled the amplifier off the DEI building, while Perry himself played the reverse of the Egyptian solo, sending them back to where they were from.

In spite of that, Perry played a backing bass line to the other platypus's solo. He wasn't intending to stop him since the P.A. they were using wasn't enough to make them be heard by those on other planets. In fact, he didn't think any normal amp would do; Doofenshmirtz had to use a specially designed amplifier back then.

Aussie played the solo an octave higher after a while and then ended with a prolonged G sharp with vibrato.

They were quiet for a moment before Nyx played the opening beat of a particular Panic! at the Disco song, which was immediately recognized. Soon everyone else started to play their instruments while Aussie sang the song.

As he was singing the second verse, Aussie stood in front of Perry with one of his feet forward. He swung his free arm left and right while bouncing his knees; Perry stared at Aussie's feet and vice versa.

Aussie turned and ran to the stand, putting the mike on it on the last note of the verse. Then, he began to strum chords on the guitar when he sang the chorus. Everyone sang along as Pinky played the lead guitar line with his eyes shut.

Aussie finished the chorus with a "your turn, Perry!" and walked up to Pinky. They looked at each other while playing the interlude. Aussie took a moment to give a blink as a response to Perry, who said "sure" to his words earlier.

Perry stepped forth and sang. All of them stomped their feet and clapped their hands rhythmically in perfect synchronization right before the second chorus starts, banging their whole bodies to the side violently and passionately.

Nyx started to play the drum solo when Perry stepped away from the microphone. Aussie joined in a while later, playing the strings part on the guitar but giving out several parts to Peter and Pinky. They switched parts a lot of times in the middle of the drum solo, creating somewhat of a hocket.

They jammed for quite a while before Perry noticed something strange. "Um, what's that flashing blue light?"

"It sure looks weird. Perhaps it's any of the villain's work; I'm pretty certain someone's already taking care of that," said Nyx. However, she was proven wrong as the light source came near. It turned out that it was a disk-shaped spaceship.

"How's that possible? We're not using the kind of P.A. that could attract the aliens, are we?" Nyx asked Aussie, who was standing in front of her.

"I have absolutely no idea," replied the young platypus. He looked at Perry eagerly, but Perry shook his head with his eyes closed.

Two aliens resembling Perry's owners physically got off the ship. No one else but them two. Having realized they had been beckoned to the animals for no reason, the aliens were very displeased, and to the agents' horror, they started to duplicate themselves. With every single passing second, their number doubled, and as a result, their number skyrocketed exponentially.

The unimaginable was right before their eyes now. The swarm of aliens began to surround them while saying things they don't understand over and over, their eyes the colour of maroon.

Perry and his friends struggled to gather together in the middle. It was especially hard for Nyx as she was just sitting in the back. Perry was debating with himself whether they should fight, but seeing as their hostility was pretty clear now, they had no choice but to do it.

"All right, we have to stay together," he announced while delivering a kick, knocking the Phineas-like alien before him down. At the same time, Aussie jumped into the air and smacked some other aliens on the head. He even swung his tail to give them a good slap as he lands- on the shoulder of one of the aliens. He punched him hard in the face as his feet touched the ground.

With the sticks in her hands, Nyx fought every alien that approached her away, although she didn't actually hurt them. Peter, on the other hand, had to rely on only his body since he couldn't throw the piano on them- he wasn't even capable of lifting a piano. When six aliens closed in on him, the panda pushed and kicked simultaneously, making them crash into the drums.

The four took advantage of all the objects available, namely, their instruments. Although they were well-trained in all fighting styles, the number of their opponents was too much to handle. To them, it felt like there were infinitely many of the aliens. Still, they fought as hard they as they could.

In the chaos, Aussie got caught underneath a bunch of alien clones, which made him recall the time when he was squeezed to the point he felt like he was going to be crushed by an overzealous kid. Nevertheless, with his might and strength built up through the training that he had received, the platypus shoved his enemies out of the way and sprang into the air. He attacked some more aliens while landing.

Nyx noticed something different about one of those aliens. That particular one looked like Ferb in his shape, yet he had dark green hair. It was a bit subtle, and Nyx didn't see it until they came face to face. Believing this may be the key to their victory, the porcupine struck his chin, causing him to fell backwards.

Perry was doing a hand-to-hand combat with another one that looks like Ferb when his opponent accidentally tripped on the clone Nyx had just knocked down. That alien was, in fact, just standing up, but he got pushed to the floor again. Perry, unable to take his hand away fast enough, was sent rolling on the floor with his adversary.

When Perry got on top of the clone, he pressed on the body extra hard so he couldn't escape. He then moved his hands to the neck and strangled him. Feet off ground, the alien's struggled to get free, but the platypus held him there, swinging him over his head and smacking those who approached him before throwing the alien far forth.

Aussie and Nyx were going against the same alien; the one which Nyx just knocked down a minute ago. It turned out that he was exceptionally tough and difficult to defeat; hence the two worked together to take him down.

Aussie kicked him hard in the leg where the bone is, while Nyx hit the face. They blocked the alien's attacks and delivered more blows. Then, Aussie proceeded to punch the back, and Nyx went for the stomach. Aussie picked up a guitar with swiftness and hit the head with it. This caused a major explosion; bright white light spread the whole space, blinding the agents.

They all stopped to cover their eyes. Seconds later, the light was gone, and everything was finally back to normal. No aliens around, just the instruments, Perry, Nyx, Peter, and-

"Aussie?" asked Nyx, worried and anxious.

Well, not really. Aussie was nowhere to be found. "He must have been taken by the aliens. We have to figure out where he is and get there to bust him out," Perry told the panda and the porcupine, who nodded in agreement.

The spaceship flew across the sky with two aliens and a red-eyed platypus in a fedora inside of it. Shortly after, it disappeared into the clouds.


	7. Hallelujah

**A/N: This is a sequel of the songfic to _Let's Kill Tonight._ Enjoy!**

Aussie was dropped off at a magnificent castle which he didn't recognize- it looked like nowhere on Earth. The two aliens escorted him inside, where he found a strange platform on the other side of the threshold. It was in the shape of an equilateral triangle with an exclamation mark engraved in it, but there were three small circles on the vertices, each with a diameter of a quarter the side of the triangle.

The alien that looked like Phineas pulled him onto the platform and walked to one of the small circles, jumping up and down a couple of times before going counterclockwise to the adjacent one, while the other alien did the same, the two never occupying the same circle. Aussie saw the circles shine orange light whenever they step on it.

The platypus looked down, just to find the platform he was standing on elevating. Directly underneath it was a circle with a diameter of a length equal to the side of the triangle. The aliens became smaller and smaller until they vanished from Aussie's sight.

It hadn't been long before Aussie found himself in an even more peculiar room. He couldn't see anything as it was completely dark there, but he heard the door behind him slammed shut. He turned around and groped blindly for the doorknob, trying to get out of the place. However, he found none despite having touched every inch of the door. It seemed to have magically blended into the walls.

"Hello?"

As he shouted into the vacancy, a dim light went on, enabling Aussie to see his surroundings, albeit obscurely. The platypus kept his eyes on the floor as he took a few steps forward cautiously. He noticed that he was on a way paved with marble, cobble, and obsidian. The obsidian reflected the light, making the floor slightly brighter than the ceiling, which was built with masonry.

When he stopped, he heard a rumbling noise coming behind. Alerted, he turned back. The rocks he was walking on collapsed, falling down into the darkness. Aussie stood there for quite a while; however, he never heard the materials hit the bottom.

 _Gosh, that's as deep as crazy._

Aussie was shocked, but he knew there was no other way he could get out than going through the labyrinth, however hazardous and formidable it may be. He had his fedora, but the compartment was so huge that none of the gadgets would be of any use; also, there seemed to be a substance that messed his wristwatch up- hopefully temporarily, disabling him from calling his friends for help.

He had to rely on his body and mind alone. As he walked, a part of the hallway before him started to whirl, and yet it stopped rotating once he put a foot on the floor. He walked past that part, and it began to whirl again once he lifted his feet off.

His eyes were also adjusting to his surroundings increasingly well. As a result, he was able to walk a bit faster than when he began. He only needed to watch out for turns, which were generally obvious for him but easy to go too far and fell off if one didn't beware. _If you fall, you fall to your doom,_ Aussie reminded himself inside his head.

Then came his first choice in the castle: a three-way intersection. He stopped to ponder which way to go.

He went left. However, once he stepped onto the path, he found that it was highly unstable. It kept tilting to the sides, making him feel as if he was going to fell off. Aussie nervously spread his arm out in an attempt to maintain balance, even though he knew it wouldn't help much in this situation. He'd fall anyway if the floor tilted too much.

The floor underneath his feet tilted to the right for a small angle before tilting back. Then, it tilted to the left for an angle that was larger by an unperceivable amount. This repeated numerous times, but every tilting process took different time- some over thirty seconds, some less than a second.

Aussie walked in an S to correspond with the tilting path until it finally stopped tilting- though just for a little while. Aussie was walking forward, picking up his pace when all of a sudden, the floor tilted again- to an angle of over thirty degrees. Aussie fell to his knees, grabbing the edge with his hands, desperately hoping that he wouldn't fall.

 _No, no, no, I don't want to die! I'm still too young to die!_ Aussie's eyes grew wider than it had ever been, and he couldn't help but let out a panicked scream. Flashbacks of his past rushed into his head as he held on for dear life.

His entire life hitherto- his birth, his family, his friends, the devastating fire, how he got rescued, how he got into that zoo in Canberra, his friends in the zoo, how he got transferred to Danville, his escapes from captivity and boredom, the sardine sandwich, the O.W.C.A., meeting Perry and his fellow agents as well as other trainees, his life in the agency, the training, and his official recruiting as a secret agent- whooshed by in merely five seconds.

Albeit fast-paced, the memory was quite vivid. Nevertheless, it was too fast for Aussie to feel anything about those events in his life. This is the first time in life he didn't feel scared or sad when thinking about the fire, and it's also the first time he didn't think of his becoming of a secret agent without getting delighted. The fear of falling was far greater.

He stayed put, lying flat on his stomach before he realized there was no need to do that- he was always perfectly balanced, even when the floor was tilted like it was now. This seemed like magic, but gravity didn't seem to affect him. He slowly stood up and breathed out a few times in relief. He could stand normally without falling here, and that was true the whole time.

It occurred to him how stupid he was, and a strange sense of happiness came into him, making him laugh out loud. His chatter echoed throughout the place, which is weird since it was broad. Aussie didn't care anyway. _Looks like nothing here makes sense. Anything is possible because logic doesn't apply here,_ Aussie told himself with a content smile.

Aussie strode confidently, and soon enough, he found himself at a cliff. He looked back, thinking of going back to choose again, just to realize all paths he came from was gone without a trace.

With no alternative, the platypus leaned forward, ready to jump- without his parachute, which he didn't bring with him.

The height looked pretty daunting, but he knew there was no other way he could get out of here if he doesn't take the risk-

 _Wait, wait. Why do I feel like the floor is leaning with me?_

It was, indeed. And the more he tilted his body, the more the floor tilted. Through tilting forward, Aussie got rid of the cliff. Now he could simply walk to the other side. Following his instincts, he passed some more intersections.

Aussie went down a stairway that led to a large corridor with magnificent sculptures on the posts. He couldn't help but gasp in awe as he walked down; there was an incredible number of sculptures, each of which drastically different. But there was one among all of them that caught his eye.

The platypus looked at the sculpture, which was a hand. _Could it be?_ He held his right hand in front of himself in suspicion. He was shocked to find that the sculpture was made in exactly the shape of his hand. _Wow, this is mind-blowing,_ he thought, casually putting his hand on the sculpture.

As it turned out, there was actually a hidden entrance inside the post, and Aussie just opened it with his hand on the sculpture. _I don't think anybody else in O.W.C.A. has come here before. So how come they have this kind of entrance? It's just like the tree entrance, although I don't use it that often._

Curious, Aussie got into the post, wondering where he would end up. To his surprise, there was nothing but air on the other side. There wasn't a tube or anything similar, and Aussie was falling from the height of- actually, it wasn't like falling to him. More like he was moving toward the ground an infinitesimal distance every millisecond.

It took him a good eleven minutes to get to the ground, even though he didn't have his parachute with him. He found a scooter there, but once he tried to get on it, it became far too small even for a platypus. _Oh, you got to be kidding me. Why would anyone put a scooter that becomes mini-sized every time someone gets close to it? It's basically useless, as no one can ride it._

Aussie mockingly split his legs apart, pretending to get on the scooter. However, the scooter began to grow in size, and eventually, it became monster-sized and started to speed down the place. The platypus stood on the vehicle, wondering where it would take him.

When the scooter made a large turn, Aussie had to lean to his side to avoid falling off. After a while, the scooter began to shrink again as it wound up the road; by the time it reached the top, it was platypus-sized.

Aussie grabbed the handles and zoomed down from the other side. The path was so steep that he was practically hanging onto the scooter, and he felt as if he was going to be thrown off anytime. As he got to the base, Aussie found himself standing upside down on the vehicle, facing the bottomless pit under.

He was back in normal posture after going through a few turns and loops- the kind similar to those on rollercoasters. However, in no time did he spotted a huge gap in the front. _There's no way I could go over that!_ thought Aussie, boosting the speed to its maximum. Still, it was too slow. Facing his imminent fall, the platypus made a desperate leap, his eyes shut.

Luckily, he found himself on the same road again. _Phew,_ he said to himself, _I thought I couldn't ever leave this place alive. Now back to finding my way out..._

He went a long way, passing more turns, cliffs, bumps, loops, and various obstacles, some of which he overcame with his gadgets- mainly the grappling guns. As he walked toward a three-way intersection, he started to hear _Confutatis_ from Mozart's Requiem, K.626.

 _I've heard that before- nope,_ Aussie cut his mind off as he didn't want to remember the painful incident, which was why he'd listened to the piece in the first place. The bass seemed to come from the right, while the tenor was from the left; the horns, bassoons, and strings came from underneath, while the trumpets, trombones, and timpani came from above.

 _Confutatis maledictis_

 _Flammis acribus addictis!_

However, instead of going to the next part, the music started over from the beginning after the six bars.

 _Confutatis maledictis_

 _Flammis acribus addicts!_

Aussie felt his feet warming up, but he thought it was just because he had been listening to these lyrics too many times in a row. _Oh, I'm physically feeling the words now._ Yet when the warmth intensified after quite some time, he started suspecting there might be something heating up underneath his feet.

As he listened to the section over and over, Aussie couldn't help but dwell on the fire which occurred when he was still quite little. The fire that took his mother's life and left him scarred, suffering the resulting immense loss for years.

Yes, he had gotten over the fear, but that didn't affect the fact he still felt the extreme sorrow every now and then when he thought about the fire- he's not over it, he just wouldn't let his emotions get the best of him anymore. That fine for him, though; being blue, but not conquered by the fear or the tears.

Aussie was standing at an intersection, about to make his decision when the floor gave way, causing him to fell toward the hue of red and orange. As he fell, he sensed that it was getting hotter and hotter. _Oh great, I'm going to die the way mama did, except no one would ever know I'm dead._

Feeling hopeless, the platypus was ready to embrace his death when he plunged into a body of water. Orange water. Aussie immediately cooled down when he hit the water and held his breath as he paddled to turn himself over. He stayed underwater for a while before coming up, as water helped to relieve for him- he's a _semi-aquatic_ platypus, after all.

 _So it's water. But if so, how come I'm was feeling all that heat?_

Aussie noticed another platypus coming right at him. He tried to swim away, but the platypus turned correspondingly and went his way. No matter what he did, Aussie couldn't avoid bumping into-

 _Where'd it go?_

The platypus vanished right at his face, leaving Aussie in confusion. When he took another breath, he saw, from the surface, something giving out blue lights at the bottom. It was enchantingly beautiful. Regardless of what may happen, Aussie dove toward the object.

Out of curiosity, he picked up the object, which turned out to be a shiny orange gem- not blue, but it was emitting blue shines. This revealed the mirror underneath that sucked Aussie in.

Aussie ended up in a new place fairly distinct from the castlehis fur already completely dried off. _Where am I now? Also, how is it possible that the bottom of the water leads to a room on land?_

He stood there for a few seconds and then walked inside, wondering what he would see.


	8. Crazy Equals Genius

It was the first day of March. Perry got home early, and he was waiting for his owners to come home. He paced the backyard for a few minutes before taking a nap under the tree.

All of a sudden, he was picked up from the ground. Perry opened his eyes to see it was Phineas, his twenty-two-year-old owner. He was half naked and his muscles- just enough to prevent him from appearing weak- were all visible. It was pretty clear that he was heavily drunk, as Phineas grabbed the platypus in an unconventional and harsh way. It made Perry kind of uneasy, but as a secret agent, he could deal with that.

To Perry's utter surprise, Phineas took his right foot and stabbed himself with the platypus's spur. It was platypus mating season, hence Perry's spur was loaded with venom right now. Perry tried his best to control himself, but Phineas had made it hard, which meant the venom was inevitably going into him.

Perry's eyes widened; he knew he was poisoning Phineas, albeit he was compelled to do so, and he could feel it. The venom was flowing into the boy's body, and there was no stopping it. _What in the world are you doing?_ Perry screamed in his head not knowing why Phineas would ever want to poison himself with platypus venom.

Perry leaped off of Phineas's hands, while the boy danced with two left feet in front of him. Soon enough, Phineas straightened his body and let out the loudest scream ever in his life, saying things that Perry couldn't fully comprehend. The scream was a mixture of drunkness, happiness, excitement, irrationality, and some pain, perhaps some other convoluted emotions.

Perry heard Phineas screaming, "Love this feeling, let it burn! We gonna get more of it, I want more, I want more!" as he fell backward onto the ground. Perry moved quickly to the right spot to prevent Phineas from hurting his neck or head. _Gosh, he's insane now._ The platypus watched him collapse on the grass from the effects of the platypus venom, the grin on his face still as wide as the entire Tri-state area.

Lying on the grass, Phineas started to see a figure. It was vague at first, but then it got clearer and clearer. It was a red-eyed lion. The lion stared at him solemnly for a while before saying in a demonic voice, "Urie, you ain't ever gonna learn your lesson."

Phineas answered, "um, my name's Phineas. What are you talking about? What lesson?" Yet the lion didn't reply. It was gone in a blink of an eye. The boy got drowsier and drowsier afterwards, and Perry could see that his eye lids were dropping. It was only a matter of seconds for Phineas to be sleeping sound.

Perry nudged his bill against Phineas, but he got no response. _Great,_ he allowed his bill to curl into a smile as he was sure Phineas was asleep. He then stood on his hind legs and dragged his owner across the backyard as gently as he could, taking plenty of care for fear of injuring Phineas again or waking him up. The redhead didn't even stir, though.

This was no easy task for a platypus, and if Perry hadn't been previously trained as a secret agent, he wouldn't be strong enough to do it. _That's oddly serendipitous,_ thought the platypus as he pulled the redhead inside.

Finally, he got to the sofa. Perry used all his strength to lift Phineas onto the cushion, and once he was done with that, he was drained of his energy. The platypus climbed onto the arm and fell asleep.

When Phineas woke up the next morning, all he felt was pain. Excruciating pain. Pain all over his body. Every inch of his body, all the muscles were aching. And frankly, he was surprised he didn't have a headache, given the shots he had yesterday.

"Oww... what happened?" Phineas asked himself, "why am I in so much pain? It's killing me right now... oh, man..." Perry chattered, getting onto Phineas's chest, _well, you stabbed yourself with my venomous spur._ However, Phineas simply stroke his fur- with apparently much less strength, which was the aftermath of poisoning himself with platypus venom. The redhead smiled and said, "hey, pal."

He struggled to get up, but he was too pained. "Sorry, I can't... it hurts so bad. I guess the high was worth the pain, though." _I don't think so,_ Perry said inside his mind.

Perry chattered. Phineas spotted a wound on his right arm. He recognized it by the shape right away; it was caused by none other than platypus spur. That was the only possibility. "Wait, how come I have got this? You'll never hurt me with your venomous spur, will you, Perry?"

 _Of course not, Phineas. I was born to protect you from harm, so how could I harm you? It's just that you happened to get too drunk and gave yourself a shot of my venom. I wasn't able to stop it, and I'm really, really sorry about that._

"Ouch..." Phineas moaned in great pain. He was wide awake, but it hurt so much that he couldn't even sit up. Every time he tried to move a single part of his body, his entire body hurt like hell. "Yeah, it was I who did that horrible thing to myself. Right, boy?" He chuckled lightly with the pain all over him when Perry responded with a chatter, which he took as a positive.

"Ha, you can't say I'm uninteresting no more now! I bet they'll call me the new definition of crazy!" His eyes wide open, Phineas suddenly shouted, shaking his fist in the air before his arm collapse onto his side. "This has become strangely tiring now..." His eyes shrunk back to normal size while his voice trailed off, but Perry could still hear him mumbling things.


	9. Dying In LA

Perry walked out into the dull greyish street in the second dimension, his head hanging out of depression and a sense of inability. He had to try quite hard to stop himself from looking back, otherwise, he would break into tears. Phineas's furious stare and Ferb's blank face with a sign of disappointment was worse than any other penalty in the world.

The evil leader was too powerful with his army of Normbots, and unless he could team up with someone else, Perry doesn't stand a chance against him. Yet he had just made the two people who trusted him the most lose all of their trust on him. Even worse, they were the only people who recognize him here in the second dimension.

As he walked in the pouring rain, he felt like his heart is being pierced with a razor blade over and over. Every raindrop on his fur reminded him of Phineas and how disappointed he was when he discovered that Perry was a secret agent. Phineas was really angry at him, and that was saying something, but he just had to take it a step further and try to sneak away from them.

"Go," that one simple word, uttered by the familiar redhead in that tone, shattered his heart. It had essentially sentenced him to endless woe and inescapable suffering. He was dying inside right now, though a part of him reckoned that he deserved this. How stupid was he to attempt to run away from his owners who had just found out his undercover profession, only to be caught on the spot?

Perry knew for sure that the boys, especially Phineas, were pissed off for what he'd done. He had witnessed Phineas's anger when he revealed his secret for the very first time. And the way he responded to his attempting to sneak away made it absolutely clear that he didn't trust him anymore.

He decided that he would surrender himself to the villain and the dictator. No one would know, and they would never need to know. He would probably, in the worst scenario, get caged, tied up, and tortured to death, but it was going to be worth it if it meant that second dimension Dr. Doofenshmirtz wouldn't hurt his boys. He was well aware that it wasn't certain, but he still took a chance.

The platypus came upon a graveyard where he saw unburied skeletons all around. It gave him shivers, and he couldn't help but notice that most of the bodies had either cracked skull or terribly broken bone, indicating they had suffered great injury. However, it was a result of suicide, not murdering.

 _They must be those in the resistance who were captured by Alt. Doofenshmirtz and was forced to kill themselves. I don't want to become a slave of tyranny and hurt Phineas and Ferb, so I think I would have to do the same thing after I surrendered myself to- wait, I don't have anything enough to kill. Oh well, guess I could slice myself with that spinning blade in my hat and hope I bleed to death._

Perry took out a picture of himself and his owners back in the first dimension. He stared at it for quite a while before he tore it apart, tears welling up in his eyes. He proceeded to tear it into more smaller pieces as tears mixed with raindrops streamed down his face. With misty eyes, he managed to stuff the pieces into his fedora.

Perry wiped his eyes clear to see his destination not far away, easily recognizable by its peculiar shape.


	10. I Write Sins Not Tragedies

**A/N: This is an alternate version of the Musical Cliptastic Countdown- with a sense of poise and rationality.**

Doofenshmirtz inserted the CD into the Musical-Video-Mind-Control-Inator, not realizing it had been switched. In seconds, the screen displayed Perry and Aussie sitting on stools, playing acoustic guitars to "I Write Sins Not Tragedies."

"What-" Doofenshmirtz found himself hypnotized by the wrong music playing on the inator. He froze, just like all the other people. Major Monogram didn't know what was going on. The music playing through Doofenshmirtz's inator didn't sound like an attempt for Tri-State domination to him.

"What are you doing, Agent P?"

 _\- is a whore,_ said a voice in the video, which obviously belongs to the said platypus.

"Mind your language, Agent P!" Major Monogram was a little more than displeased to hear that word from his best agent.

Agent P opened the curtain and revealed Ferb with his white guitar, Isabella with a purple bass, Baljeet playing the accordion, Buford on the drums, and the Fireside Girls on the cellos, but Phineas was nowhere to be seen. The kids weren't playing the instruments at all, and the music video seemed to have ended, though the previous effects still lingered.

The odd silence was broken when all of a sudden, Phineas chimed in from the door on the side, singing the chorus into his microphone. The other kids began to play their instruments zealously.

Phineas flipped the microphone in the middle of the second verse and then kept singing. Seconds later, he picked up a big bottle of champagne under the piano and opened it. He showered Major Monogram, Dr. Doofenshmirtz, and all the audiences with the drink. Phineas left the empty bottle in the very front of the stage and started to dance and bang his head as he went into the chorus again.

Despite jumping around a great deal, Phineas never went out of breath or lose control of his vocals. Ferb walked up to him, and they both sang into the same microphone while smiling at each other knowingly. Ferb backed off a while later.

Everyone stopped playing except for Buford, who was playing the drums to accompany Phineas's singing. The redhead was also playing the piano. His voice got louder when the other kids began to play again. He purposefully screamed some of the higher notes to add dynamics.

"Again!" Phineas stood up and sang one final time, extending and polishing it with sophisticated head-voice melismas.

To the kids' surprise, the audiences were singing the chorus in unison as the song was just about to end. They decided to accompany their singing with their instruments. The people sang the chorus over and over and the gang sang a bit backing vocals.

Finally, everyone sang the chorus one last time, and the performance truly ended. Once the sound of the instruments cleared, the hypnotized people woke up with a start, confused why they were soaked with champagne.

"Thank you!" Phineas said and they all ran down the stage and went out the back door.


End file.
